El Tonto: /tonto/ (noun)
A foolish player who does not realize what is good for the game and will make it obvious that they do not enjoy the game. They can also be El Nit.
Sometimes you might think that they are El Loco or El Pescado and you might be right, but most of the time they are just complaining about what is going on around them. Often, they will also be El Nit or El Cabrón. El Tonto is almost always El Estúpido but never the other way around.
Typically, El Tonto tries to dress in a manner to make their appearance look younger than what they really are but this fools no one. Some examples of what you might see them wear. A hoodie that looks like it came from a sneaker shop. A hat that they think makes them look cool, but no one would ever wear. They might also wear sunglasses to hide their eyes. You will see them wearing the same thing or something eerily similar that you might think is their uniform for playing poker. Be very careful not to mistake them for someone else like La Ballena or El Loco as both of these types of players may have similar taste in fashion. El Tonto can also dress appropriately for their age.
When playing the game of poker, they demand silence so that they can concentrate. All side games such as the 7-2 bounty or stand-up game must stop. They will make a big deal of straddling and refuses to even when La Ballena is sitting right next to them. When provided the option to stay but not be forced to participate in the side games and straddles, they will still make a fuss about the game and complain that they are not able to find any action. El Tonto could be offered odds to flip in their favor and still refuse because they need the money or do not like to gamble or take risks. They would refuse to take a free roll not realizing it is a win win for them.
El Tonto does not play smartly, nor do they ever do what is actually in their best interest. They are always selfish even when it is not good for their own bankroll because all they are focused on is finding El Pescado. What they don’t realize is that El Pescado comes in many different shapes and sizes and can sometimes be other people at the same time. They won’t even give a table a chance to see if it is profitable. As soon as there is something they do not approve of, they will ask for a table change. Most of the time when they ask for a table change, before they even get to the table, they will ask for another table change.
Phrases like “they always have an Ace” or “My Aces always get cracked” are always said by El Tonto. When they do say these kinds of phrases, they always look at you as if you are supposed to know what they are talking about. You become the person that they think will confirm their bias because coincidence is always true. They complain about not getting action when they are first to raise but make a raise of ten times the big blind. Never realizing that when they do limp in, this is why their hands will lose. For them there is never any winning, even on the rare occasion when they rack up more chips than they came to the table with. In fact, some of them you might find yourself wondering how they even have money to play if they usually are short stacked.
Occasionally you might find yourself wondering if you are El Tonto. Let me be the first to tell you that you are not. The simple fact that you have questioned being El Tonto should be evidence enough to let you know that you are not El Tonto. Because they are not self-aware nor do they ever seek to improve in the game. Simply by acknowledging your own leaks, you have saved yourself from being El Tonto for now.
